We have all struggled with the question – “Who am I?”

At some point we all want to know – “What am I doing here? What is my purpose? What is this all for?”

• Sometimes I wish my heart came with blueprints – I wish I knew exactly how I was built, what fuels me and what needs fixing.
• I wish I could close my eyes and see a map of my life, and whenever I’m faced with a difficult challenge, I could just check the map for directions.
• I wish every bad decision came with a neon warning sign, and every step in the right direction came with a list of further instructions.

Life would be simple. Easy.

BUT… If we were born with a label across our forehead which said:

There wouldn’t be much free choice. Dreams would be useless. Passion would be pointless.

What we really need to know is WHO we are not WHAT we are

Jesus was a carpenter. He was also the son of God. His identity did not come from what he did, but from who he was created to be. He was born with a single purpose: “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free,” (Gal 5vs1).

He came to restore our relationship with God by defeating death. And because of His sacrifice, we have 24/7 access to our Creator – and the only one who can tell us who we really are.

In John 1, Jesus is introduced to a man called Simon. He promptly changes his name to Peter (Cephas) which means ‘rock’.

Despite who Simon was at the time, Jesus knew his potential, and who he would become. Jesus knew his real name, and called him by it even though he was not living in the reality of that identity yet.

According to various descriptions in the bible, Peter was sometimes a bit of a ‘wet blanket’ and at others he was a total ‘hothead’.

After leaping out of the boat to follow Jesus walking on water, Peter took his eyes off of Him and began to sink. After boldly stating that he would never deny Jesus, he denied him three times on the day that Christ was crucified.

Peter was strong-willed, and impulsive, and defensive… but eventually he became one of Jesus’ most influential disciples. After spending time with Jesus, and being shaped by Him, Peter became who he was created to be – the ‘rock’ on which much of the early church was founded.

Who am I? What is my name?

It’s often difficult to separate who we are from what we do. When we introduce people, we say, “this is Bob, he’s a builder,” “this is Sue, she’s a mom”. And when what we do is no longer ‘valuable’ – Bob retires, and Sue’s kids leave home – we have an identity crisis.

And for those of us who can’t even figure out what we do, never mind find identity in it, we feel even more hopeless and helpless. I have a job that I love, but I certainly don’t want to be doing it for the rest of my life, and I don’t want it to define who I am as a person.

At 30 years old, I honestly haven’t found my passion, or my purpose

And I don’t know my name.

I don’t know what God has placed inside of me. I don’t know what he has planned for me… It’s a lot of ‘I don’t knows’.

Which is why I sometimes beg God for my blueprints and a map for my life. And then He reminds me that I’m really bad at reading maps. And that if I actually had a map, I’d be far more inclined to take shortcuts… And I wouldn’t really need Him.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5.

And as far as my name goes?

I am a child of God. One day He will tell me my real name, but for now I’m content to call Him ‘dad’ and see where he leads me.

That’s not to say I don’t complain that my ‘feet are tired’, and when I find a comfortable place to rest, I do struggle not to stay there.

But I also know that He’s the only one that knows my name, and the best place to be when He calls me, is by His side.